Again (Frustration)

When you try new things in life you expect to struggle. Not everything comes easily. You know, the whole try, fail, try, fail, routine. You get used to the ups and down with a hobby, a workout, something you want to do on the side. It sucks but its still just a side project.

But when the the try/fail thing happens with what you do, what you're supposed to know how to do... its just depressing. What we do in life goes a long way to define who we are. Even the artist defines his or her success by the process of making their art. Our work, whatever the field, becomes the hyphenated reality of our lives.

So when we struggle there, with whatever "that" is, everything else seems to shake a little louder, like a tremor through our bodies. The wondering thoughts crowd our eyes, you know, like that headache you can't lose, the one that hovers right above your eyes, when you stare too long into the sun.

You hope that if you can just keep doing it again, and again... you'll get the feel for it. You'll figure it out. Again and again.

But the frustration is the ache.

I need an Advil.