Bum's Son

Through the duration of this post I will not refer to the new Head coach of the Dallas Cowboys by his proper name, but instead by "Bum's Son," due to his father's name being Bum, which is ridiculous, and well, it's just funny.

The proud and storied franchise known best by their self-dubbed title, "America's Team", has seem to go through coaches in this past decade like the Miami Dolphins go through good ideas.

Still, it seems as though this could be a good move for the boys. Bum's son's father was the inventor of the 3-4 defense, and this team is ready to win now. At least they think they are. The question remains, how long will Tony Romo remember how the playoffs literally slipped right through his fingers.

So here I raise my glass to America's team. Here's being hopeful for you. I'm a big T.O. fan, and how can you not love watching Dr. 90210 play general manager? It's a comedy, but a comedy always ends with a happy ending. This may in fact be a looming Shakespearean tragedy. And we all know, that if it follows that course, the only one falling on his sword will be Bum's Son himself.

Below is a hilarious article from thespoof.com on The Dallas Cowboys hiring situation. Check it out.

The question on everyone's lips at the Jerry Jones surprise press conference was who was to be announced as the new head coach of America's team, the NFL Dallas Cowboys. Speculation has been rampant in Dallas and all of Texas about the identify of the new coach. Las Vegas bookmakers have even been laying odds as to the identity of this mysterious person.
Wade Phillips? No. Dan Reeves? Try again. Lovie Smith? Nope. Urban Meyer? Still not right. Dennis Green? You're kidding. Charlie Weiss? Wrong.

After firing Jimmy Johnson after winning two consecutive Super Bowls, Jones stated that any one of 500 coaches could lead the group of players he has assembled to another NFL championship. He has only won one since, and has not been back since that victory. In fact, his team has not won a playoff game in over 10 years.

In typical flair and fashion, Jones stepped to the speaker and announced his choice. Said the team owner, "The new coach of the Dallas Cowboys will be Bobby Knight. He is right here in Texas, coaching only a few hundred miles away in Lubbock. He has won more games than any other coach in men's division one. He has several championships under his belt. He has led teams to undefeated seasons and through the college playoffs to win it all. He is a no nonsense kind of guy and the disciplinarian that players like Terrell Owens need."
When it was pointed out the Jones that Knight was a college basketball coach and had no football experience, he disagreed. "He is a coach and a leader of men. Knight is a winner. The Dallas Cowboys are winners. It is a great marriage."

Another reporter pointed out that Knight was famous for his tirades, such as throwing chairs across the basketball court. "We have no chairs on our sidelines, and most of our benches have multiple 350 pound linemen sitting on them. He won't be throwing any chairs in this league."

"If he could throw Larry Allen or Flozell Adams, that would be a different story!"

Oakland Raiders' owner Al Davis was upset by the announcement. "Yesterday, I hire this 31 year old kid just barely out of his pampers, expecting to get all the headlines. Today, Jerry takes it away by hiring a basketball guy. How does he come up with this crap?"

Knight will continue to coach the Texas Tech University Red Raiders basketball team through the end of the NCAA season (and possibly NCAA tournament) before beginning his duties with the Cowboys. He has encouraged his school to hire former baseball great Pete Rose as his replacement.