Symptoms
Recently, I've noticed how things are changing for me. Not on the outside. I don't look different, or even act different, at least I don't think I do. I am thinking differently however, and not in a deep way, nothing theological or creative, just really practical. Perhaps what I'm experiencing is my first strong case of reality.
At least the symptoms are starting to show.
In college you start to think big. You dream of what life will be like on the other side of that pending graduation day. The job, adulthood, being on your own, all the things that you get to experience the goodside of in college but still have mommy and daddy's safety net underneath. You dream.
As life moves on, you graduate and start on your way with big plans, long lists of things you will do and things you won't do, and as the days and months go by, you dream. You dream of what you'll accomplish, or how many people's lives you'll influence. You think about all those who will want to be a part of what you're doing. If you haven't already found it, you'll think about how great that person you'll fall in love will be. The fireworks and passions intensely flaring on your way to a beautiful and magical wedding day. Life is good when you dream.
Slowly, the list of things you will do and won't do change. In fact, the things you think you'll do get really few and far between, and the list of things you never thought you'd do for all kinds of reasons, that list is smaller too, but for a different reason. You've done them all.
Somewhere along the way your first bout with reality starts to take place. All those dreams and goals get smaller, or break. The formula that all your friends have followed just seems to have a missing part when you try to follow it.
My dreams are changing. I used to want to have a church with thousands of people, now I wonder if I could realistically lead a congregation of 4, made up of a wife and 2 kids. I used to dream about that perfect relationship and all the lovey dovey stuff that comes with it and the wedding and the sex. Now, honestly, I really, really like being single. I think about finances now, houses, and health insurance. Life is different, but life is still beautiful.
I used to dread the thought of thinking like this. As I contract the beautiful symptoms of reality, I find myself embracing them suprisingly. The desire of leading thousands of people is changing every single day. The hope to live a very simple, God honoring life in the city, hoping to see his kingdom come grows stronger. I don't want to be famous, I want a simple life, and not a fake simple life like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.
At least the symptoms are starting to show.
In college you start to think big. You dream of what life will be like on the other side of that pending graduation day. The job, adulthood, being on your own, all the things that you get to experience the goodside of in college but still have mommy and daddy's safety net underneath. You dream.
As life moves on, you graduate and start on your way with big plans, long lists of things you will do and things you won't do, and as the days and months go by, you dream. You dream of what you'll accomplish, or how many people's lives you'll influence. You think about all those who will want to be a part of what you're doing. If you haven't already found it, you'll think about how great that person you'll fall in love will be. The fireworks and passions intensely flaring on your way to a beautiful and magical wedding day. Life is good when you dream.
Slowly, the list of things you will do and won't do change. In fact, the things you think you'll do get really few and far between, and the list of things you never thought you'd do for all kinds of reasons, that list is smaller too, but for a different reason. You've done them all.
Somewhere along the way your first bout with reality starts to take place. All those dreams and goals get smaller, or break. The formula that all your friends have followed just seems to have a missing part when you try to follow it.
My dreams are changing. I used to want to have a church with thousands of people, now I wonder if I could realistically lead a congregation of 4, made up of a wife and 2 kids. I used to dream about that perfect relationship and all the lovey dovey stuff that comes with it and the wedding and the sex. Now, honestly, I really, really like being single. I think about finances now, houses, and health insurance. Life is different, but life is still beautiful.
I used to dread the thought of thinking like this. As I contract the beautiful symptoms of reality, I find myself embracing them suprisingly. The desire of leading thousands of people is changing every single day. The hope to live a very simple, God honoring life in the city, hoping to see his kingdom come grows stronger. I don't want to be famous, I want a simple life, and not a fake simple life like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.
posted by Philip Letizia at
5:27 PM
1 Comments:
Loving your blog. Loved this post, and laughed out loud when I got to "...not a fake simple life like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie."
By
Rebecca, At
3:09 PM
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