One of my assignments this semester at RTS is to journal through the book of Psalms in the Hebrew Bible.
This is a recent entry based on the 4th chapter of the book of Psalms:
So many things come to mind when you think of King David. The anointed boy warrior slinging stones at the forehead of a giant. The passionate dancer leading the ark through the city gates. The weeping father, and the merciless murderer. Can one man be so many things?
Through all of the character plot lines shown in the life of David, it’s the pleading heart that wins us. It’s the attribute that won God. How could a man be all those things at once, unless he knew that ultimately, his security was tied up in one thing, the heart of God.
The first verse of Psalm 4 might as well sound like this, “Answer me God! Bring an end to this madness! Give me grace and listen, please.” I’m trying to get past that thought, that sentence, that verse, and I can’t. Is that the “man after my own heart?” Perhaps that could be the very thing, the quality of David that brought such delight to God’s heart.
Part of me wonders if that’s all I ever do. If that’s the only plea I know when I walk in front of God. But maybe that’s where it begins. These Psalms were not David’s trophy pieces. Not his badge of honor, or his fame. They were his heart, wrenched open for the world to see.
He wrestled with the question in vs. 2, “How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?” The weight of that indictment haunted the king. It caused him to cry and hope for a nation to know its own story, so easily forgotten. It brought the shame of his life to the light of day. I wonder how long he heard Nathan’s shout, “You are the man!” in his heart.
Enough to break him, and make him weep over his lost son, to long for the house of God, and just rest.
Every time he went to that place. Every time he cried, “give me grace, and listen please,” he slowed down. He breathed deep, and said, “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
My heart moves too fast. When I scream, “hear me!” I can’t “sleep in peace”. Life crawls and then it flies, between boredom and paranoia. What if my heart heard, “You are the man!” and I broke. And I slept. And hearing in the distance, “come all you who are weary, and I will give you rest”, my heart would be like that of the great King.
Tangled in deceit, and immaturity.
Lost in plot, and idleness.
What if my heart was like his. Could the song always be like his, “you have filled my heart with joy. (Vs.7)